Mundane

Topiary bought a new vacuum. Those pesky hedge clipping were rather piling up and the Topiary Dwelling needed a good clean.

Regular readers will know of Topiary's struggles with packaging (for instance, trying to free curtain rods from their enclosures).

This vacuum slid right out and then the task of assembling it began. Seriously, Topiary must be retarded in fitting things together because it took almost an hour. The directions are artistic but useless. The only way she got it together was fiddling with it and getting lucky.

As for suction, this vacuum would probably suction the entire house with no problem--walls, ceilings, kitchen sink. It's rather hard to push but does a great job.

Disappointing: thought by buying a Dyson it would be on a ball instead of wheels. But it just has regular wheels. And still scared to get out the "wand" because it was only through the grace of God ever figured out how to get it into the vacuum. But as for vacuuming, it is cool to just dump the dirt instead of having to use a stupid bag. You can see right when it needs dumping.

All in all, gets a B+. Would have been an A if not so stressful to assemble. Dyson DC14.

Moo!

Sons of Anarchy

When a show has a really, really hunky star, you can overlook a lot.

Like waaaay too much Katey Sagal. And far too much smoking.

Living vicariously as a Man of Mayhem, Cow could be solving her problems with her fists and an AK. Forget all this namby-pamby getting along, letting Topiary be Topiary-bye-gones. Using pruning shears for a different purpose altogether.

Highly recommended for hunkiness of Charlie Hunnam, outstanding writing, plots that never leave you becalmed, non-stop action, humor and romance. Earned Topiary seal of approval. FX, and Season 1 on DVD.

Moo!

We can has snoop?

Big meeting with Ad Guys. Who had a spiffy presentation (using SlideRocket) about Targeting, Optimization and Accountability.

Who rolled around terms such as keyword density models, backlink acquisition, and site re-targeting. Landing page re-direction was covered. The expense of good search engine optimization was discussed.

All this meaning, they have more and better ways of finding you to sell you exactly the thing you didn't know you wanted or needed, but it will cost you.

Cow mooing softly in remembrance of the Good Old Days when the Internet was a nifty way to exchange information instead of just one more way to invade your privacy to unlock your wallet.

Moo!

Incredibly Boring Basterds

This scene is toooo long. And so is the next one. And Brad Pitt, strutting ego-maniacally with a really funky accent, can no longer act his way out of his international jet-set pot-smoker real-life persona.

Tarantino is being called a genius for this overly long re-write of WW2, where, typically, Hitler is seen as an easily-fooled buffoon, and the Jews win. Where 1980's pop titles interfere with the 1940's movie setting.

Cow admits she didn't even stay till the end. Predicatable, boring, movies which telegraph the end of the scene long, long minutes before it arrives. Blah.

Moo!

"Monster" by A. Lee Martinez

This was a hilarious book. Well-written and funny.

Unlike so many books, didn't bog down so much in the middle that you skip to the end to see what happened and just get it over with.

In a world where magic is all around us, but we can't see it once become adults because that part of our brain dies off, "Monster" goes around saving cryptobiological monsters, because it's his job.

And Judy, the supermarket stocker who contends with a Yeti eating all the ice cream in the freezer, decides she could have a better life being a monster-trapper too.

This was a funny and charming book.

Moo!

Woe is Topiary

Ever have days where you just feel sorry for yourself? Where you've hurt your ankle so can't even go for a nice walk? Where you go ahead and buy a six-pack of beer even though it increases the risk of cancer and Alzheimers and is fattening and bad for you?

Where you eat some pastry chocolate thingy and put cream and sugar in your coffee, even though you'd given up alcohol, and milk, and even coffee for that matter? Despite the scale hovering around horrific-ville and ready to take a left-turn onto the Boulevard of Despair?

Cow finds herself annoyed that these bad habits, banished for so long, are apparently lurking ready to jump in the minute your guard is down.

On the bright side, are two Nice Things.

First Cow joined a new gym. After making do with the cheap crappy one because it was so close to her house, Cow shelled out for the nice one with the pool, and nice facilities, and trainers, and towels, and a sauna, and steam room, and skylights and greenery. Much better. Even (following Watercolor's lead) made an appointment with a Personal Trainer.

Second, Cow can now testify absolutely, definitely, there IS Karma.

Readers of Cow's humble blog will remember a certain co-worker sneak, prying and tattling and being generally unpleasant in the workplace. Well, said co-worker is now being embraced by the strong arms of the law for alleged mis-deeds from a previous job. Karma.

So perhaps there is not so much to be woeful about after all. Except of course that the beloved banana-enthusiast Gorilla Bananas is vacationing on distant shores. An honorary beach towel and drink-with-umbrella are hoisted to the Great Gorilla.

Moo!

Home, and Facebook

It was nice to get home and see the geese in the road as always.

Cow's been considering this question of Facebook. To join or not?

Advantages: a lot of people seem to be on it.

Disadvantage: do you really want to put your real self out there to be found? If people had wanted to stay friends from high-school, for instance, wouldn't they have just stayed in touch?

Not sure what to do.

Moo!

One last poor-quality windscreen photo

Seven days on the road and you would think Topiary would have some better quality photos to share.

Alas, she was in such a rush that corners were cut and photos were snapped without even pulling over.

These rocks in New Mexico are fantastic. Moo!

One kitty meowed the whole trip till she finally went to sleep.

The second kitty was content to scritch up the cage padding and sleep.

Anybody who doesn't think cats have personalities is crazy.

Moo!

Being prepared

Traveling cross-country with two cats (cages are visible at front) in the middle of summer meant supplies. And more supplies.

Cow was carrying somewhere around 10 gallons of water, not to mention cat litter, paper towels, bags and bags of cat food and two different towing services cards, just in case.

Snapshot out the window passing through Devore in California, a very scenic area.

Signs advised to shut off your air conditioning to avoid over-heating.

Ha! Not likely.

Scenes from a trip

Cow's handsome cousin with his oh-so-comfortable ride featured in the beginning of her trip cross-country.

In addition to his not-so-shabby wheels, Cow's cousin also owns his own plane. Sigh. And he's smart, fun, self-effacing, and has a fantastic sense of humor.

Back when Cow lived in his state (younger days) this cousin dated the most gorgeous women she'd ever seen. They would gravitate towards him and then stick on like velcro, their tiny waists, perfect hair, bouncy chests and perfectly tanned arms lusting just for him. Hoping, hoping, hoping for a "future." Or maybe just a night.

Cow would check the message machine and almost every morning there was some stupid giggle-fest from one-or-more ladies he'd met the previous night, thinking they were so clever leaving silly messages. Cousin, however, was the clever one, having given them his office number (which Topiary answered) instead of his home number. Ha!

If cousin went out with one of the gigglers heads would literally turn and people would stop to stare at them they were so....stunning.

As readers of this blog will have noticed, Cow luuuuves to observe human nature, and thinks its funny that the wonderful cousin, instead of marrying any of these star-struck gorgeous models who worshipped him married a nicely-ordinary-looking girl who pretty much ignores him for the children. However they're on ten years or more so it must have been the right pick.

This begins the first installment of the blog about Cow's long trip.

Moo!

SmallTalk Diaries

Cow recently received a fascinating package from abroad, from charming blogger Lulu.

Inside was a DVD of SmallTalk Diaries sent all the way from Great Britain.

This fascinating, engrossing, hilarious and beautifully photographed series follows various buggy beings and explains what they're doing when they're doing it.

Cow thrilled at the combat, laughed at the mistakes and was fascinated by the dutiful deeds of these Earthly Companions and hopes that soon the show will air in the US.

Always seems that the brightest filmmakers get the least exposure. Here's hoping that will change!

Moo!

Scrambling

Topiary still at sixes and sevens trying to get stuff done and back up to speed after being gone so long. In the meantime, here is a photo Topiary took all by herself.

She took a two-hour side trip to the Grand Canyon on her loooong drive and saw it for the first time. It is truly better than could ever be imagined, something that not only lives up to expectations but exceeds every one. Fantastic.

Topiary promises to be back up to speed soon! Moo-Cow-luuuuve to you all!