Weekend Moovie Roundup
Have you ever seen a moovie that was so bad, you wished you could rinse out your brain to remove all traces of it? So bad, that you immediately attended and rented as many other things as you could, to supplant the memory of it?
So bad, that you resolved NEVER to see a moovie again without at least checking a few reviews or Rotten Tomatoes?
"Spread" with Ashton Kucher is that moovie. So bad, there's really nothing to say....wait a minute, there IS something!
-why on earth is a selfish manipulative loser supposed to interest us?
-why is a disquisition on other selfish, rich losers supposed to interest us?
-what's with the suspenders, looking so riduculous?
-what's with wearing the same ugly belt in every scene?
-Ashton was interesting in the Butterfly Effect. Gah, what happened?
As for New Moon, Cow and her fellows were alone in the back row laughing at the scenes. Did the Opera Muzak in the Roman Elevator go over everybody's head? It's so weird when friends are laughing at stuff in the movie and apparently the entire other audience consists of pod people who are mesmerized by the wolf-guy's abs, Bella's eyeballs or Pattison's hairdo. Which, admittedly, was not so pouffy (thank god) in this movie as the last one.
Obviously at $250M for opening weekend, New Moon needs no help from any reviewers. All Cow can say was she was disappointed in the entire lack of Topiary.