Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Confluence of Events

Cow accepted a Christmas visit invitation. Presents were exchanged, but Cow made a rather hasty exit. Why?

This friend has many dogs. And many cats. And they have fleas. Oh yes. Cow was petting a cat and saw one. Absolutely.

This friend is a lovely soul, a lover of books, a charming and gracious hostess. She has a house crammed full of interesting artwork, and good things to eat. She's been a friend for many years. But cleanliness is not her strong point. And, she absolutely denies the presence of fleas. No, I've never had a problem, she asserts.

Upon returning home, Cow (to avoid cross-contamination) removes all clothing, dumps it immediately into a hot washer filled with bleach and soap, scrubs her Topiary Shoes and leaves them outside. Sprays the car seat with bug killer. Cow had worn her best, most washable Topiary Christmas Garments, having anticipated this. Cow, you see, is terrified of getting fleas in her house. So, she takes precautions. No problem.

This visit, though, there were not only fleas, but Influenza on the part of the children. Dear Lord, one was vomiting repeatedly during the visit. Every time Topiary got up to leave she was pressed to stay--no, no, you mustn't leave yet! Dearie me.

What's that they say about Christmas being a time for sharing?



Blogger Watercolor said...

Egad. One musn't share bugs. Of any sort.

And really, if your kids have the flu, don't have guests over. Seriously.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Linda and her Twaddle said...

Whilst I accept untidy (being a wee bit untidy myself), I cannot stomach dirty. My older sister is, well, a bit dubious in the cleanliness stakes. She leaves baking trays in the oven (unwashed) and forgets about them. On the very rare moments I am at her house, I never eat or drink. She thinks I am uptight.

You must have been a bit tense before the visit knowing what to expect. You preplanning in the clothing department was very impressive.

Sharing of viral illness's is so thoughtless. Tummy bugs are the worst. Don't come to my house if you have spent the previous few days with your head in a bucket.

12:06 PM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

The most confounding thing was trying to make polite excuses to leave as soon as the obvious sounds from the bathroom were heard, and yet being told--no, no, it's nothing, stay!


Cow admits to, as soon as the clothes were in the washer, betaking herself to the shower and washing every single Topiary Leaf, using eye drops and mouthwash, to try to banish any errant molecule from the Land of Topiary.

Glad to know she's not the only one with these feelings!


1:11 PM  
Blogger Watercolor said...

I will admit that right now, my house is not guest worthy. Thus, no guests. heh.

2:51 PM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

More presents for you, that way.


6:50 AM  
Blogger Supermom said...

Egad is right! Good grief!

Run, Topiary. Run like the wind!

3:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, and what yummy treats was she serving? Guacamole?
Beef stew?
Other gloppy things to go along with the sounds emanating from the bathroom?

Yeesh. Run, don't walk.

8:05 PM  
Blogger Ace Jackalope said...

I was once grossed out by a screen saver program on a potential client's computer. It looked like cockroaches crawling diagonally across the screen in perfect parallel lines. But wait! They crawled off the screen, onto the casing and dropped to the desk with little scuffling sounds. I was outta there with an "I'm sorry. I'm leaving. NOW." as she protested. She never did forgive me, and I never did understand why the bugs didn't bother her.

On a different note, I occasionally offend a relative who thinks her little kids should peck every relative/visitor goodbye on the lips. She thinks it's sweet and I'm wondering what sort of germs they've picked up at school.

5:33 AM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

Supermom: Topiary thinks you give good advice! (Running!)

Daisy: Shudder. Oh the humanity!

Ace: Cow is now totally creeped out! O. My. God!


8:06 AM  

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