Weekend Moovie Roundup
Have you ever seen a moovie that was so bad, you wished you could rinse out your brain to remove all traces of it? So bad, that you immediately attended and rented as many other things as you could, to supplant the memory of it?
So bad, that you resolved NEVER to see a moovie again without at least checking a few reviews or Rotten Tomatoes?
"Spread" with Ashton Kucher is that moovie. So bad, there's really nothing to say....wait a minute, there IS something!
-why on earth is a selfish manipulative loser supposed to interest us?
-why is a disquisition on other selfish, rich losers supposed to interest us?
-what's with the suspenders, looking so riduculous?
-what's with wearing the same ugly belt in every scene?
-Ashton was interesting in the Butterfly Effect. Gah, what happened?
As for New Moon, Cow and her fellows were alone in the back row laughing at the scenes. Did the Opera Muzak in the Roman Elevator go over everybody's head? It's so weird when friends are laughing at stuff in the movie and apparently the entire other audience consists of pod people who are mesmerized by the wolf-guy's abs, Bella's eyeballs or Pattison's hairdo. Which, admittedly, was not so pouffy (thank god) in this movie as the last one.
Obviously at $250M for opening weekend, New Moon needs no help from any reviewers. All Cow can say was she was disappointed in the entire lack of Topiary.
Moo!
posted by The Topiary Cow at
6:32 PM
8 Comments:
you are so good - moovies, indeed.
and i like the post about sharing food with the critters. friday morning after thanksgiving had me cussing as there were dishes still to be done (we eat "the big meal" in the p.m.).
too much bother, too much fuss and i don't enjoy it one bit.
now, a nice breakfast i like to cook...
i rarely go to the movies these days. at least if i rent them, i can shut them off if they're horrible.
i rented star trek, which i liked a lot. i also liked wolverine. but i've always like star trek and the x-men. i'm looking forward to watching julie and julia. (how bad can a meryl streep movie be?)
why isn't there more Topiary in movies? all these movie stars and producers talk about green, green, green, but instead we get vampires and transformers in our movies. i'm sure trees are a lot less expensive than special effects and hiring brad pitt! and they're just as visually appealing.
I'd never pay $8 to gamble on seeing a movie. I'd have a hard time swallowing the fact that the movie stunk, after paying that much.
I wait for the videos, and then I watch it. Mostly alone... as I do most everything.
This was a really great post. Now there are two movies I won't waste my rental money on! Thanks!
Deborah: yes indeed Thanksgiving is a lot of work, and creates a lot of dishes. Cow just thinks the Thanksgiving shouldn't be confined to just one species---thus the "sharing with the critters" tradition.
Glad you liked the posts!
Weight: Agreed, Star Trek the moovie was great. Will be good to see where they go from here. And there was plenty of nice scenery in Wolverine, just not the "green" kind. (Muscles, mostly). Nice.
Ah, Weight, you are a lady after Topiary's heart. Yes, indeed, there is a dearth of Topiary to be seen in blockbusters which could easily afford it! $50 million for New Moon, and not a sculpted tree to be seen!
Karen: You're welcome, and thank you for reading!
Cow usually goes to matinees when it is cheaper, and should the moovie stink, she tries to recoup some of the loss by sampling another one on the way out.
Just to even things out, you understand.
Moo!
What annoying titles films have these days. You have no idea what they are about.
I can't see that I'd see either of those. I read the Twilight Books, I loved the first one and didn't like 2 or 3...4 was ok but I always felt she could have just written 1 and 4 and been done with it all. I just found out recently she wrote 1 THEN 4, THEN 2 and 3. So I guess she could have done without them, too.
As for the movies, no. I did see Twilight after it came out on pay per view and maybe someday I'll see New Moon but not ever in the theater.
I did go see Astro Boy, which was better than I was expecting (always a plus).
My family is looking forward to seeing The Fantastic Mr. Fox...but we're waiting a week or so because we have passes and we can't use them while it's still "special engagement".
Gorilla: Ah you haven't seen the movie title "Push-based on the book Sapphire by somebody" don't have that quite right but you get the idea.
Cow certain that in the Congo movies are titled sensibly.
Sari: Thank you for the recommendation. Movie 2 wasn't much so glad to know now to skip books and movies 2 and 3 and just wait for 4.
Astro boy looked pretty good, haven't heard of the Fantastic Fox but hoping you and your family enjoy it!
There's probably a reason why my friends will say to me in the cinema foyer: "are you sure you're OK coming to see this? It's in colour."
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