Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Office Sneak, part 2

Has Cow described the Office Sneak, who, regular readers will remember, sneaks into Cow's files and bad-mouths Cow to her co-workers and boss, in an attempt to claim Cow's superior salary, office space, and funding source for her own self?

The Office Sneak is hugely obese, over 350 pounds. Ughgly, loud-mouthed, and is never, EVER wrong. Knows everything in the universe. Is the picture of sweetness to everyone else in the office, (since she doesn't want their low-paid jobs). So Cow is made to look as if COW is the one with a problem....after all, Office Sneak is SO NICE to everybody else. Why does Cow have a problem with her, is the refrain should Cow protest the Office Sneak's latest assault.

Aside from sneaking and prying, Sneak's latest tactics include shouting all day to other co-workers (who are impervious to the noise since all they do is cruise the web all day), trying to break Cow's locking cabinet (Cow can't prove it but it's very suspicious that just after starting to lock it, it is all of a sudden scratched and bent).

Office Sneak actually CURSED at poor Topiary Cow for moving a file. Said file was incorrectly positioned on a drive for which Topiary has responsibility to organize, so as to avoid chaos.

Yes, Office Sneak said in her fat and ughly way "I don't have to listen to this S**t!" right in front of the boss, as Cow, passing by the boss's office, heard the complaint and answered it.

Luckily, Cow's co-worker heard it. So now it is a little note, in Cow's file, to add to all the rest of the documentation.

Which, is cold comfort, unfortunately.

Cow thinking she needs a MAD magazine just about now.

Moo!

7 Comments:

Blogger HEATHER said...

Wow Cow! I had been wondering how that situation was going.
I'm thinking I would kill her with kindness. That always throws people like that off.

5:56 PM  
Blogger linda said...

People can always see through false sweetness. She will get caught up in her own nasty web.

Get one of those voice activated digital recorders. Then each time she talks, you have it on record.

I am sure you could read Mad and find out via Spy Vs Spy what tactics to employ to nail the nasty.

6:44 PM  
Blogger watercolordaisy said...

ugh. At least this time you had witnesses. You need a nanny cam in your office to record her trying to break into your file....

7:12 PM  
Blogger Supermom said...

I like the nanny cam idea! Only don't hide it in a jelly-filled donut or she'll find it.

12:19 PM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

Heather:
your perspective is very valuable, and you are probably right.

Cow would have no problem with the first part of your advice...it's the "kindness" part which will be rough...

Linda:
do you really think so? Sneak's overwhelming suck-up-ness to everyone in the office is real obvious to Cow, but hasn't seemed to be obvious to anyone else. Cow hoping you are right...

Recorder: good idea...Spy v. Spy, inspired! Luuuuve that stuff.

Watercolor:
You're right about the nannycam. Must look that up and get one. Must figure someplace to hide it that Sneak won't be searching...

Daisy:
Yesssss! Ha@!!! Mad Cow (chuckle)

Supermom:
As always, a Super suggestion. Most "never-to-be-touched" place would probably be a container of carrots and other healthy stuff...
Ha!

Cow now happier, since her head is filled with all these good ideas!

Cow humbly thanks all, and appreciates these suggestions!

Moo!

9:01 PM  
Blogger From the Doghouse said...

I still say put a mouse trap in the files.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I think she needs a male walrus in her life.

1:33 PM  

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