Friday, October 10, 2008

Weekend reading

Cow tries, really tries to keep a positive, Topiary-friendly attitude. Cow admits she's been slipping lately.

So, for the weekend, a snippet of humor from David Sedaris, Barrel Fever.

"Today was the official opening day of SantaLand and I worked as a Magic Window Elf, a Santa Elf, and an Usher Elf. As Magic Window Elf, my job was to say, "Step on the Magic Star and look through the window, and you can see Santa!"

I was at the Magic Window for fifteen minutes before a man approached me and said, "You look so stupid."

I have to admit he had a point. But still, I wanted to say that at least I get paid to look stupid, that he gives it away for free. But I can't say things like that because I'm supposed to be merry.

So instead I said, "Thank you!" as if I had misunderstood and thought he had said, "You look terrific."

Moo!

14 Comments:

Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

Ah, he should have made the wisecrack. Other people who heard it would have laughed.

8:40 AM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

Yes, Cow agrees. But then had GB been wearing the Elf suit the consequences would have been So Much Better!

Moo!

8:49 AM  
Blogger Miss Mud Puddle said...

This makes me lol!

9:34 AM  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

Ah, but wouldn't it have been nice to have said: "And you have a nice day, now, sir!" and a big cheesy grin.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Are they hiring this season?

LOL

6:49 PM  
Blogger From the Doghouse said...

Santa knows where he lives.

7:01 AM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

Cheesy grin: check.

Hiring: check. But Sandi isn't allowed to move to New York (too far from friends and kiddies!)

Where he lives: check. But then Santa knows everything.

For instance, Doghouse, whether you've been naughty or nice!

Moo!

10:40 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

It's a nice place to visit, but you're right ...

11:02 AM  
Blogger scones with jam and cream said...

There's a job I am so so glad I don't have! I should think kids would say more horrible things, though.... Love from scones xx

11:33 AM  
Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I have heard much goodness about Sedaris

2:32 PM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

New York looks like a city with many wonderful places, but Cow just prefers peaceful pastures....

Scones, Cow agrees, dressing up in silly costumes is a tough way to make a living...

Ultra: Sedaris is rather seamy at times but is always entertaining....

Moo!

7:43 AM  
Blogger Linda and her Twaddle said...

Great customer service skills there. I know that I would not have been able to resist an insulting comeback. Then again, maybe I would not look stupid in a little Elfin outfit. I must see if I can find one on Ebay.

11:06 PM  
Blogger The Topiary Cow said...

Cow thinks Linda would look her usual sexy self in a cute Elf outfit.

Santa would be asking for a date!

Moo!

3:01 PM  
Blogger Nicole Bradshaw said...

I love Sedaris. Me Talk Pretty One Day is one of the funniest books out there. If you read "Santaland Diaries," a stage adaptation of his stories about working as an elf at Macy's, you will laugh out loud, I guarantee it.

8:34 AM  

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