Self esteem
Cow has been turning over this question of high self-esteem and low self-esteem since reading "Evil : inside human cruelty and violence" by Roy Baumeister.
Because it seems now those raising children are constantly advised to create high self-esteem. And for adults, their failings are often attributed to low self esteem.
Yet, most criminals have very high self esteem according to this book. They aren't wrong, the world is wrong, they think.
To this humble Cow, those with high self-esteem seem to want others and indeed the whole world to adapt to them, because, after all, they are great!
A wasted hour spent watching the auditions for American Idol showed high self-esteem in some contestants. Ones who, despite being terrible, refused to believe they weren't great. Many argued with the judges...and then left still believing they were great and the judges were wrong.
High self-esteem seems to mean that no correction, no matter how deserved, will be accepted. Because they have such high self-esteem they cannot believe they could possibly be wrong, and reject all evidence that might prove it.
Of course there should be a middle ground between high and low. Cow just thinks we're creating people who are Always Right and Do No Wrong with this concentration on self-esteem instead of, for instance, acquiring actual skills and abilities, discipline, willingness to be corrected and to learn.
Or maybe not. Wait! Cow, of course, is always right, so she's right about this too.
Moo!
Because it seems now those raising children are constantly advised to create high self-esteem. And for adults, their failings are often attributed to low self esteem.
Yet, most criminals have very high self esteem according to this book. They aren't wrong, the world is wrong, they think.
To this humble Cow, those with high self-esteem seem to want others and indeed the whole world to adapt to them, because, after all, they are great!
A wasted hour spent watching the auditions for American Idol showed high self-esteem in some contestants. Ones who, despite being terrible, refused to believe they weren't great. Many argued with the judges...and then left still believing they were great and the judges were wrong.
High self-esteem seems to mean that no correction, no matter how deserved, will be accepted. Because they have such high self-esteem they cannot believe they could possibly be wrong, and reject all evidence that might prove it.
Of course there should be a middle ground between high and low. Cow just thinks we're creating people who are Always Right and Do No Wrong with this concentration on self-esteem instead of, for instance, acquiring actual skills and abilities, discipline, willingness to be corrected and to learn.
Or maybe not. Wait! Cow, of course, is always right, so she's right about this too.
Moo!
posted by The Topiary Cow at
12:08 PM
6 Comments:
Isn't it called narcissism if it gets too high? "Avoid all sorts of self-obsession" is what we gorillas say.
Self Esteem - hmmmm, those combined words took around forty years to arrive in my dictionary of life. Some people just burst with ill placed self confidence.
Humility is a much needed human trait.
There is a difference in low self esteem and true humility. Eeyore has low self esteem. Cow seems to exhibit humility.
GB: Cow is impressed with the gorilla maxim...
Linda: Agreed. It seems those with the most cause to be pleased with themselves may often not be proud at all, and vice versa.
Mrs. H: Cow welcomes you to her humble blog, and thanks you for your incisive comment.
Cow DOES strive for humility, but of course in the Topiary world where one leaf out of place can be a disaster, often, instead, has low self-esteem.
(Cow quickly touching up her Topiary Trim with the aid of an Extra-Large Mirror)
Moo!
well, and in your "AMerican Idol" example, they didn't just leave believing they were right and the judges were wrong -- they were angry, FURIOUS, IN A RAGE because the judges didn't see it their way. The judges had to be denigrated and reduced to trash for not seeing The Truth.
That's the scary part.
Narcissism? Don't get me started. I have wrestled him and he wins most every time. Interestingly, statistics say that it is mostly men who are narcissists. Women looking for a date, beware.
Take the middle path. Moderation in all things. You can have too much of a good things. You're in good company with your conclusion -you must be one wise cow.
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